Adoption info for our support network

FAQs and More


Adoption-Positive Language


A lot has changed over the course of adoption history. With those changes comes new language. For example, the term "put up for adoption" is outdated and rooted in a troubling past, so instead we say that a birth parent "made an adoption plan" for their child. To learn more about adoption-positive language, check out the PDF linked below.


Frequently Asked Questions


How long does the adoption process take?

As with many things in adoption, it's different for every family. The average time between completing a home study (this is like getting licensed to adopt) and placement of a child is about 2 years, but it can happen much sooner or much later.


What age child do you want to adopt?

We're doing infant adoption, so the child we adopt will be a baby. However, we could match with a birth parent while they're still pregnant or after the child is already born. The baby might even be a year old. Each case is different.


Are you considering international adoption?

No, we decided international adoption isn't for us. We want our child to have a relationship with their birth family if at all possible, which is easier if we adopt domestically. Additionally, many other countries don't allow LGBTQ+ families to adopt.


Why do you have to go through such a long process before you're approved to adopt?

True, we've been through a very thorough process that often involved us disclosing personal stories and sharing about our pasts, as well as thinking through tons of scenarios and plans for our child's care. While it has felt like a lot at times, it's been great for us to have open discussions and make sure we're really prepared to parent any child that comes into our lives. Many kids who are adopted have experienced trauma and a sense of loss, and the adoption process is designed to make sure that these extra-vulnerable kids are entering into a stable and healthy environment. Additionally, adoption in the US hasn't always been ethical or in the best interest of the child, and so the modern process reflects attempts to rectify past failings of the system.